39 Lashes To TabuLate The Island Party

[Yngve J. Chapleen]

Day 14
Dear Diary,

     Oh, hoho! Creepy. Empty guesses like a ghost town. Well except for Annette Funicello. BTW. Who the f**k is Annette Funicello? Sounds like a hilarious maker of humongous stringed instruments. As for the points, please refer to the previous post. You'll find ALL the answers there... And much more than you bargained for.

     Global News... Christmas is the time when we finally find out who was naughty over the past year, so we can quite literally laugh in their faces. Well, that's the most important part of Santa's job, but recently he found himself on the receiving end, at the Dufferin Mall in Toronto, Canada, where the Holiday season's judge, jury and executioner became the subject of judgement himself. A woman (not a girl, but a full grown woman) went on a rant in front of his grotto, telling him how he's not real. He doesn't even have a f**king sleigh and he's a f**king d**k head. The good old Saint Nicholas let all these hurtful words slide under the rag, but he draw the line when she accused him of not being magic. That's a big no-no. He stood up and left the building. You can call him whatever you want, but don't say he's not magic. Now, I'm not sure, for how many years this woman was previously banned from enjoying the spirit of Christmas, but I doubt she'll be coming back to the list of nice people, anytime soon. Either that, or she just found out from her parents that Krampus isn't real. And let this be a lesson to all the parents who don't believe in letting their kids on the scam early enough, from the fear of traumatizing their precious little darlings, for life. Well, is it better to let them make an a** out of themselves? Is it? Just rip off the band-aid and get it over with. Father Christmas is fake, and so is Pam Anderson's boobs. There! That's all it takes.

     Island News... With all this Christmas cheer going around the world, I wanted to experience the same for myself, but the environment here on the Island wasn't very cooperative. Not without the snow, that is. To my surprise, I found tons of pre-1994 fire extinguishers washed up to the shore and I couldn't be happier that good ol' Telapo didn't forgotten about me. I dispensed all the foam, to its last drop and to my absolute delight, it worked. The Island is covered in white powder like there is no tomorrow. This bromochlorodifluoromethane, (usually referred to as halon 1211) is as shiny and beautiful as it is fake. At least it's, NOT cold outside.

Now, let's see what's shakin' in the stockings.

click on the cover to hear the samples

WHITESNAKE - Whitesnake (1987)
2CD ℗ 1987/2000

Back home, Deep Purple was huge and at that time it was my favorite Hard Rock band. Naturally, every post incarnation and sideproject of the band also received lots of recognition. The first time I became aware of Coverdale's work outside the band was the album "Snakebite", which contained the mega hit from those days of yonder, "Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City". From there on, I retraced their/his previous releases and I was eagerly looking forward to each and every single one that followed. I was surprised to learn that "Slide It In" had a different mix for the States. What surprised me even more, that Whitesnake, on this side of the pond was not on the map, until then. How could that be? Simply I couldn't fathom the idea. This was all rectified, with their self titled, 1987 release. I'm sure it was big everywhere in the world and if you're still wondering just how big it was, let me tell you this: At the bowling alley, where I often don't set my outside footwear in, they keep a piece of paper and a pen by the desk, so the patrons can request Music Videos. Songs usually come and go. Some with boo, others without much hullabaloo, but whenever I request "Here I Go Again", first you'll hear a loud cheer then the whole place lights up with vigor and sing along follows the song till its end. That's how big it is. But if you ask any of those people, if they heard the original "Saints & Sinners" version of the same tune, all you get is a: Huh?

1. THIN LIZZY - Bad Habits
from "Thunder And Lightning" CD ℗ 1983

Thin Lizzy has been on my radar since forever. Personally, I think Phil Lynott was the coolest dude in Rock 'N' Roll business ever. Too bad the tragedy hit them when they entered the most interesting period of their career, with then newly recruited, John Sykes. I quite often wonder what the next album would have sounded?

2. LAOS - I Want It
3. LAOS - Jericho
4. LAOS - Badlands
5. LAOS - Long Shot
6. LAOS - One More Night
from "We Want It" CD ℗ 1990/2005

I'd be lying if I'd say I was a big fan of the band since its inception, because the truth is, I can't even remember when was the first time I heard of them. Quite possibly, it was the time when their first and only release to date got a remastered re-issue, but I can't be even sure of that, either. Regardless of the peripheral circumstances, here and now, I'm quite fond of their music.

INDEX (To keep track of things. Also, the clues for the next weeks selection are here. Do you know; What's Coming To You?)

ROCK
500 pt
300 pt - 1979 - STYX - Cornerstone
800 pt - 1981 - ZZ TOP - El Loco
200 pt - 1983 - ELO - Secret Messages
600 pt - 1984 - HOBO BLUES BAND - A Vadaszat
1000pt - 1985 - DIRE STRAITS - Brothers In Arms
100 pt
400 pt - 1988 - STATUS QUO - Ain't Complaining

HARD ROCK
300 pt - 1973 - NAZARETH - Razamanaz
100 pt - 1975 - BIJELO DUGME - Sta Bi Dao Da Si Na Mom Mjestu
500 pt - 1981 - RAINBOW - Difficult To Cure
800 pt (Send Dirty Harry after the wyvern)
600 pt - 1983 - THIN LIZZY - Thunder & Lightning
200 pt - 1983 -  KISS - Lick It Up
1000pt - 1983 - NIGHTWING - Stand Up And Be Counted
400 pt

AOR
200 pt (He is not a household name but you should be burned at the stake, if you haven't heard at least one of his songs performed by Santana, Kiss, King Kobra, America, Hot Chocolate, Rainbow and so on and so forth)
600 pt - 1983 - PRISM - Beat Street 
300 pt - 1987 - TRIUMPH - Surveillance
800 pt
100 pt - 1987 - ANDY TAYLOR - Thunder
500 pt - 1988 - DOMINOE - Keep In Touch
1000pt
400 pt - 1990 - LAOS - We Want It

MELODIC ROCK
400 pt - 1984 - VAN HALEN - 1984
100 pt - 1984 - BON JOVI - Bon Jovi 
800 pt - 1984 - SCORPIONS - Love At First Sting
200 pt - 1987 - WHITESNAKE - Whitesnake (1987)
300 pt
1000pt - 1988 - EDDA - Valtozo Idok
500 pt - 1992 - DAMN YANKEES - Don't Tread
600 pt

METAL
300 pt - 1980 - JUDAS PRIEST - British Steel
400 pt (Bring your witches to the Friday night mass, to celebrate the afterlife)
800 pt
200 pt - 1981 - GIRLSCHOOL - Hit & Run
500 pt - 1981 - SAXON - Denim & Leather
600 pt - 1981 - GORDI - Pakleni Trio
100 pt - 1982 - IRON MAIDEN - Number Of The Beast
1000pt

SINGERS GONE SOLO
300 pt
1000pt
800 pt - 1983 - DIO - Holy Diver
100 pt - 1985 - REVESZ SANDOR - Revesz Sandor 
600 pt - 1990 - KEN TAMPLIN & FRIENDS - An Axe To Grind
500 pt - 1993 - DORO - Angels Never Die
400 pt - 1993 - VINCE NEIL - Exposed
200 pt - 1994 - BRUCE DICKINSON - Balls To Picasso

GUITARISTS GONE SOLO
100 pt
300 pt
400 pt - 1987 - GARY MOORE - Wild Frontier
800 pt - 1989 - JON BUTCHER - Pictures From The Front
200 pt - 1990 - LITA FORD - Stiletto
600 pt - 1992 - JOHN NORUM - Face The Truth
1000pt - 1992 - MARTY FRIEDMAN - Scenes
500 pt - 1994 - YNGWIE MALMSTEEN - The Seventh Sign

+BONUS
1000pt
500 pt
600 pt - 1991 - MARK WOOD - Voodoo Violince
800 pt - 1996 - ARS NOVA - Goddess Of Darkness

[Scott]

Had it not been for Thanksgiving I would be in the lead, but I'll sacrifice that for one week...

My guesses...

• Hard Rock: Molly Hatchet - Take No Prisoners
• AOR: Russ Ballard (no album guess because I don't know any of this his albums just some of his songwriting credits)
• METAL: The Cult

Hey, I tried!

I agree with your thought on Thin Lizzy, adding Sykes was brilliant and would've really pushed them into American Superstardom they strived for...

No idea who Laos is/was.  Definitely has all the earmarks of 80's AOR.  I can see why they got lost in the mix of music going on at the time, its good but it doesn't stand out as unique or different than other bands of the same era.  Liked it, didn't love it, still a cool listen...

[Jon]

Hope it's not Dragonforce

it is Russ Ballard and for someone to say he doesn't know any of his albums is just plain ludicrous since a couple of his albums have been posted on this site. Probably Into The Fire is the album, maybe even The Fire Still Burns

Black Sabbath

I guess I should thank you for not playing anything off that Whitesnake album?

Laos isn't too shabby, but why would they name themselves after a country? Is that where they're from? Is this the first Laotian rock band? So many questions, so little time to ask them and really not caring much. 

The title track off that TL album is awesome. Never get tired of hearing it. Am a fan of Sykes (except for his Whitesnake days) and it would be interesting to see where TL went after this. Still, we wouldn't have gotten that Blue Murder debut.....

Who is Annette Funicello??????

[Scott]

[Yngve J. Chapleen]

Why? What's wrong with DragonForce? Have you ever tried to be a Guitar Hero and their song made you feel like a failure? They are awesome fast, which isn't my thing anymore, but they are the best guitar stranglers... In the west.

True, that Blue Murder album was great, and so was the Dare album, but that's why I would've liked to hear some of those songs performed by Thin Lizzy. With Darren Wharton getting more spotlight around that time, there could have been some serious keyboard/guitar trade off's.

Why do bands call themselves: America, Japan, Hungaria, Big Country? At least Laos is funny in a way, because the singers name is Aino Laos. Pronounced I No Laos. And they are from Germany. Yeah, I'm easily amused.

However, it is not as funny as, Funicello. I was positive this is her: